I want to start this off by giving something of a testimony. I want to share what God has taught me in the past few years. He has been showing me things for the past few years and I have been blessed with parents and friends that knock me in the head and tell me to listen. God has shown me where I had not been living my life for Him in all things. Sure I gave him some things, I gave Him Sunday mornings and Wednesday nights. I gave Him lots of things, but I did not give Him everything. I did not give Him my time like He deserves it; I did not give him my music, my books, or my desires. I was picking and choosing what I gave God and I did not even know I was doing it.
About a year and a half ago and very good friend of mine told me to listen to a sermon by Paul Washer called the "Shocking Youth Message." He told me that it was a sermon that challenged the salvation of many teenagers. In it Brother Washer used biblical truths to ask his listeners if they were really saved. He asked them to inspect their hearts according to Scripture. I don't even think the man who told me to listen to this knew how it would challenge me. I had to listen to it 2 or 3 times in a two day period. It was so life altering for me, and it was not the preaching of Brother Washer, but it was the Scriptures. I had never meditated on those Scriptures until that time. I had never considered what it might mean for my life if I actually lived by those words.
After that I said I was going to make some changes in my life, and live by the Scriptures and dwell on them everyday. I was going to study them, and find new ways to apply them to my life. Did I do all of that? Well for a while I did pretty well, but only with the help of the Lord. When I got complacent and proud of where I was and what I was doing, I fell back and I stopped giving Him all of the time that he deserved. It was during this time that I learned one of the basic pieces of being a Christian (once again Paul Washer pointed me to the scriptures in a sermon). I found this truth in 1 Corinthians 10:31, which says, "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the Glory of God." That rocked my little world! If I truly worked to do that, would the other things not start to fall into place? Would my heart for God not be rekindled if I gave Him the glory when I drank a glass of water, or ate a sandwich?
I started asking myself what I was defined by. When I drive down the road and somebody cuts me off, are my actions so defined by Christ that I just slow down and go with the flow? Anybody that has ever ridden with me knows the answer to that, no! When I get up in the morning what do I do first? Do I spend time with the Lord so that he can define my day? Or do I eat breakfast and sit at the computer so that those things and desires define my day? It didn't take me long to realize that I was defined by my desires. I was defined by the things I wanted. Be it a desire to be liked, to be right, or even just to play football. These were not God's desires, and it didn't take me long to realize that I had to change my desires. I had to let some things in my life go. I asked God to change my heart towards some of these things, and overtime he did. Some things he changed in me quickly, while other things he took his time on. Or maybe I was more stubborn about those things (probably the case).
I think (as I look back at all of this) that the most amazing thing about it all is that he never gave up on me. He never left me to my own devices. We serve a god that, once we give our life over to Him, will do anything to make us like His son. He does not forget us. When you look at Jacob and Esau scripture says "Jacob I have loved and Esau I have hated" why does he say this? Jacob is the one that went through all kinds of junk. Esau was rich and had all kinds of stuff, he was the one we would call blessed. Jacob had to work for 14 years just so he could marry the girl he loved. Esau was allowed to do whatever he wanted and he prospered, but he did not have the love of the Lord. Jacob, who had that love, was disciplined. He was constantly disciplined to stay on the path with the Lord. This is a beautiful thing; if we are saved then god will discipline us to bring us back into his will. Yes it is hard discipline, yes it hurts, but it is only because of God's love that we go through it at all.
Now that is not my entire story, there is so much more that God has shown me in the past couple of years (which you will probably read about at some point). But I think that these are the things that shape who I am now. These are the foundations for everywhere else that God has taken me. I know this post seems to go from one place to another, but I hope it is not too hard to read. God bless and I love you all!
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